I know I just wrote "team sports," but don't run away! I was sitting at the dinner table tonight looking at my guitar in the corner when I thought -- again -- about how unfortunate it is that I don't play more. The thing is, playing guitar is sort of like snowboarding. You can do tons of cool stuff, it's awesome fun, and everyone likes to watch you do it well, but behind the scenes you've got to log a lot of time falling down and not doing so great.
What makes it all worth it to me, though, is being on a team. During my life I've run three miles every day to be the best I could be on a sports team, endured intense pain playing my violin through a shoulder injury in musicals and operas and orchestra concerts, logged hundreds of hours in World of Warcraft because I like the role I can play in a group with my friends.
People sometimes call me anti-social, but the truth is when I push myself to excel at something, it's usually because I value my role in a team. When our high school put on a fantastic performance of Fiddler on the Roof, I needed to feel like a small part of that was because of me. When we're in a crunch time at the office, I need to feel like my contributions are the best they can be. I can't see someone on my team struggling with a project without asking how I can help, staying a little late, and maybe stepping a little bit outside my job description.
Likewise, when I decided to do National Novel Writing Month in November, I made sure I told my friends all about what I was doing. Their support kept me motivated (no one likes to bring home bad news), and when I had succeeded at this tremendous individual challenge I took the next plunge: I asked for some heavy review/editing from trusted friends who are smart, know what good writing looks like, and most importantly are able to be 100% honest with me about my manuscript. Now that I feel like more people than just me are invested in this project and its success, failure or giving up is just not an option. I'll work as hard as I need to to make sure I finish with something truly great.
Now I want to figure out how to bring that spirit back into music and performance. Opportunities to perform in groups come easy in high school and college, but in the years since graduation I haven't found an engaging group of people I can be close to and make music with. That personal connection over hours of doing something you love and refining a technical skill is really important to me, and somehow I don't feel like I'm willing to let it get away. Some of my best friends and best loves have been forged over music. In fact, one of the first ways my husband and I bonded as friends at age 19 was over a piano in the practice rooms at Lehigh University.
The thing is, it's not like I don't have talented friends -- I do. It's just a matter of figuring out how to bring it all together. But that's another inspiration entirely, so maybe I'll think more about it tomorrow.
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