What's It All About?

Within the past week, I've seen two plays. As a result, I found myself wanting to resurrect my onetime identity as an arts and entertainment writer, reviewing shows I see in my corner of the city. That led me to wonder whether such reviews would be a worthwhile addition to my blog, which brings up my most dreaded question: is the blog about what I want to say, or what readers want to read?

I shut down my previous blog, Words + Images, because it became a chore. It stopped enriching my life. A couple months later I returned to blogging with Mix Tapes & Scribbles, which has followed a much more freeform posting schedule, featured more personal topics, and chronicled my creative journey more than regular happenings in the art world at large.

I sacrificed hit counts, opportunities to represent the Baltimore art blogging community, and probably some other perks I haven't even considered. But I firmly believe that a blog takes years to establish, and this one has way more potential. Why? Because it's genuine.

However, I still haven't answered the question: how much of blogging comes from a marketing mindset? How much should writers be considering their target audience with every word they write? A recent post on Write to Done states:

Every post you write should satisfy a core desire for you and deliver a real benefit for your reader.  If you are simply writing to satisfy yourself then purchase a moleskin notebook and write away.  But if you want to blog publicly then you owe it to readers to deliver real value.

I think I first need to find more blogs on the creative process—how creative people live. Then I need to figure out where I fit in, even if it doesn't change my end product at all. This sentiment springs from the old adage: you can't create art in a vacuum. Any artist is responsible for knowing who else is producing similar work, and we should be able to compare and contrast them intelligently, as well as explain our own work succinctly.


On that note, do you know anyone else who blogs about the creative process? Whether you're the type who likes to email feedback to me or post it in the comments, please let me know if there's something I should be adding to my reading list!

There and Back Again.

When I wrapped up my undergraduate degree (BFA with a concentration in painting), I had some seriously conflicted emotions about my art.

Firstly, transferring schools once and changing majors three times in my college career had resulted in a sprint to graduate on time: loading up on fine art studios and absolutely immersing myself in art-making. This sounds great in theory, but it was a recipe for burnout. That's even before you factor in the ironic fact that in the beginning, I'd rejected a BFA in music performance at Berklee in favor of a BA in psychology at Lehigh, and why? Well, I'd gotten the idea that performance degrees demanded you reject everything else you loved in life, including writing and visual arts, and I didn't feel I could make that sacrifice.

After an intense run as a linguistic thinker and learner in a painter's clothing, I graduated intent on identifying as a photographer. Despite countless hours in the painting studio working toward my concentration, my best artwork—and the stuff I felt most deeply in my heart—was my photography.

Yet, my adult life has thrown my into more than one identity crisis. Most recently, I've embraced writing again. Incidentally, writing and photography were my first art forms, and remain the ones I gravitate to the most.

Everything comes full circle eventually, though. Last week I went shopping with a friend and inexplicably found myself at Barnes & Noble buying a copy of Artforum, of all things. I made a birthday card last week from magazine cutouts (every art kid remembers those cutout projects, right?). I've been making plans for Instamatic photography, reloading cartridge film, returning to my darkroom. Strangest of all, as I take a mallet and crowbar to my basement and turn it into a blank canvas, I'm feeling a need to draw an art corner into my plans. I want to leave room to tack up a canvas, put in a drawing table, make a collage.

Huh?

I guess I just needed some time to cool off, write a novel, get a piano in my house, take a voice class. Now that I'm free to do anything, I'm going to do just that—in whatever medium feels right.

NaNoWriMo or No?

I've been chugging away at my September goals, and I feel pretty good about where I'll end up at the end of the month. Well, except for one goal that's giving me a little trouble: National Novel Writing Month.

Last year, I registered for NaNoWriMo in September or so, deciding on a whim to give myself a run for my money with a lofty goal. This year I know I can do it. I have a fine manuscript to prove it. But I'm a little hung up on plot and process.

I don't have a Great Idea yet, and November promises to be busy with school and holidays and the like. Actually, I do have a Great Idea, but it's for a collaborative project and I don't see any likely collaborators on the horizon.

This all amounts to a lot of hesitation about doing NaNoWriMo this year. I'd love to make it an annual tradition, but I'm torn between ambition and needing to have everything planned out. Part of me wants to spend all that time editing my current manuscript. Part of me wants to have the second draft finished by November so I can give it to my second beta reader. I want to be reasonable, but I also know I tend to make a lot of excuses. I can rationalize my way into (or out of) any situation. This is just a matter of direction—and which is the right one to rationalize.

Recovery Mode

I was sick most of this week, and rather than try to get anything done while I was home from work, I decided to leave two of my characters on the cusp of an important reunion and watch season one of Veronica Mars in bed.

Yesterday, though, I felt good enough to install cable television in my house, so there was no excuse for slacking off today! I got up, made some coffee, and finished up the alternate ending for my novel. Woohoo!

To add to the success of the morning, I have to share with you some important findings that will send me back to the darkroom in the near future (assuming my construction in the basement doesn't interfere with its light-tightness).

With good news all around, I discovered I can buy 126 cartridge film. I ordered two rolls, but it was steep! Look at that shipping charge, not to mention $9.95 per roll sticker price.


Good thing the internet possesses answers to all things, because this video has given me the confidence to learn how to reload those cartridges with regular 35mm film. Check it out:



So I ordered two cartridges, which I'm going to shoot and then try processing myself. After that, it's all about practicing reloading!

Creative Non-Fiction (Both Auditory & Weekly): Dashboard Confessional - As Lovers Go

Even though I feel like I could have written more this week, I have kept pace with my writing goal for the month. If I keep going just like this, I'll have at least 15 writing days on my calendar by September 30. This extra effort hasn't just yielded me a check on my to-do list, it resulted in two music-inspired creative non-fiction pieces this week! Obviously I only chose one, but I thought I'd share news of my bounty.

This week's is a little long, so you'll find it under the cut.

Instamatic

While visiting my mother this weekend we did some significant antique shopping, which was wonderful as an activity to do together and an opportunity to look at a lot of really cool stuff.

Imagine my excitement, then, when I came across a cabinet full of weird old cameras! Thinking this was just the type of cabinet where I might find the medium-format camera I've been waiting for, I examined every single one. I came across some vintage 8mm video cameras, bulky polaroids, and plenty of toy cameras. I didn't find a medium format, but I did find another treasure: a Kodak Instamatic X-35, the first camera I ever carried.

I'm so happy to own this camera again because I feel like it's an important piece of my past. My next project will be finding film for it—a challenge considering the days of buying Kodak 126 cartridge film at the K-Mart are long behind us. I've heard cartridges can be reloaded with unperforated 35mm film, though, so this may be a project to take to the darkroom. We'll see! For now, a picture of my find (the square format is a tribute to the pictures it takes).

Rituals

This morning I found myself sitting in my office at 10:00, feeling not so great on account of an allergy attack, thinking where am I?

I like my job just fine, but I go back and forth on whether or not it's helping or hurting my personal endeavors. On one hand, balancing a full-time job with a house, relationship, classes, and recreation can provide the perfect excuse to slack off on writing. But my job also grounds me and keeps me productive, in addition to being a great place to learn, grow, and socialize. During the rare times when I've been unemployed, I've gone stir-crazy and halted any sort of productivity.

Life—personal and professional—is all about discovering and playing to your strengths. This morning, as I woke up a half hour later than I like to at 7:30, I felt cheated. See, I'm a morning person. People make disgusted faces when I say this, but it's true: I do my best creative work early in the morning, when the light is pure and the whole day lies ahead of me.

I also enjoy getting to the office by 8:00, securing at least an hour of uninterrupted work time before the rush begins. Then I get home by 4:30 and have all the way until midnight to enjoy my evening.

Lately, though, I'm realizing this is an either-or proposition. I can't get to work at 8:00, continue going to bed at midnight, write for a half hour or so before work, and get home by 4:30. I need to pick and choose. Most of all, I need to stop fighting my nature. The fact that I do my best work in the morning is not about to change, so I need to establish a morning writing ritual. I'm going to try it for the next week or so and see how it goes. Wish me luck!

Story Excerpt And...

Hi! With all our Labor Day weekend traveling, I realized I haven't posted in close to a week. Not acceptable!

I guess I took a little un-(pre)scheduled break from Mix Tapes & Scribbles, but I'm back now, with a little story excerpt!

One of my writing goals for the month is to finish the first draft of the short story I'm currently working on. It's, well, short, but I think it's just about ready for me to send it along to the friend I promised a first read. A lot of the content isn't safe for the blog (NSFB?), but here's a little piece for you:

Rachel turned her eyes down to her destroyed boot-cut jeans, faded and thin and barely hanging onto her slender hips. Clothing always seemed to wrap her body so casually, the thin cotton just flowing off her bones. She fingered the hem of her peasant top and glanced down the street, scanning for the bus. She caught a man in a pickup truck staring at her while he waited for the light and quickly averted her eyes. 

The breeze picked up and she could feel it, just barely cool, on every inch of her skin. Her hair wrapped around her shoulders, flitted across her eyes. The light changed and suddenly the wave of cars had vanished. She glanced down the street again. Nothing. Restless, she half-jogged across the intersection to the City Paper kiosk on the other side of the street. Her long fingers picked over the first few copies, finally resting on one that felt right—fresh off the press, no abused edges.

As she rolled the paper in half and slid it into her bag, the bus appeared several blocks down the street and she picked up the pace and lengthened her strides back to her stop. As the bus approached she plunged her arm deep into the bag at her hip, slipping her fingers past her cell phone, an eyeliner pencil, lip balm, tiny sketchbook, bag of vine charcoal. Just in time, her fingers connected with the wallet at the bottom and, without removing it, she slid her bus pass out and pressed it into the palm of her hand.

The bus was full, but she didn’t mind standing. She brushed her hair away from her eyes and searched for an open spot, grabbing the handrail just as the bus jolted through the intersection. The air felt stale and chilly—one of those mild almost-fall days when the driver still turned on the air conditioning. Rachel shifted her weight, letting one hip jut out, and gazed absently at her waistline. She relished the freedom of the bus, the ability to go anywhere she liked without taking her own two feet off the ground.

Podcasts and Urban Commutes

I love my commute. Two years ago I decided to sell my car in favor of all the other urban forms of transportation: walking, biking, bus, cab, or a ride offered by a kind friend or coworker. I haven't regretted it for a second, except on the rare midwinter evenings when I'm standing outside in the dark, having left work late, and waiting in sub-20 degree weather for a bus that's 40 minutes overdue.

Carless life affords a writer far more opportunities for observing the world, and it frees up time to pay attention to leisure activities. Over these quiet summer months when the buses haven't been packed with high school students, I've enjoyed reading on my way to work. Now that transit is crowded again I've taken to listening to podcasts while waiting for and riding the bus.

A good podcast can be hard to find, but I've had great experiences with two so far. The first actually came from my job: we produced a series of oral histories from old-time Baltimore residents, which was perfect for my bus ride. It really set the tone as I squished myself onto the bus and watched the neighborhoods go by my window. If you want to share them with me and see what I promote at my day job, check out the Greater Homewood Voices Podcast at the iTunes store.

I'm also smitten of late with the Writer's Almanac Podcast with Garrison Keillor. Poetry isn't my style, but that doesn't change my feelings one bit. Go read Drugstore by Carl Dennis and then subscribe to the podcast. It's a daily treat.

Do you listen to any podcasts? I need to broaden my horizons, so please suggest anything you think I might like!

Morning Light

I've been wondering how my new (home) office setup would look in the morning (it's my favorite time to work). Today I'm going in to work a little late to recover from a ridiculous headache I had last night, but at least I get to write a little bit and see my new space in the morning light!