Missing Writing Marathons

NaNoWriMo is getting both harder and easier: too much thinking, too little writing, too much doubt, but then realizing I only have 12,400 words left as I write this. Compared to how far I've come, that's really nothing. Plus, tonight's 2,000 words came easily, which is always encouraging.

The thing is, a person can't accomplish something like this alone. As someone who once believed (and still sometimes believes) all my strength and potential came from within, I feel like this is a valuable lesson. Not only have I learned I can actually do anything I put my mind to (although I secretly knew that already), I've learned I need conversation, inspiration, encouragement.

Not all encouraging words are the same with seven days left in the challenge, either. The time has passed for "we'll be proud of you no matter what." At this point I need someone to kick my ass a little bit, tell me "hey, you set a goal and you are totally capable of achieving it. You've come too far for me to watch you fall short now."

Or, best of all, "let's sit down and write together." What I wouldn't give for a writing marathon with my best friend before this is all over. Throwing words down on the page recklessly. Reading aloud every 15 minutes and impressing each other, ourselves. I feel like that's the relationship I need right now. I miss the communal creativity, discovering pieces of each other, spouting off topics and running with them, looking back satisfied at how many pages we'd filled. It's been years since I did something like this, either because I wasn't writing enough or because I didn't have anyone nearby to write with.

So this month I learned (again) how important it is to reach out in times of creative need. I need to reach out now, somehow, if only just a little bit during this holiday weekend. I need to maintain my creative momentum, and that's not always something we can do alone.

We'll see how these last few days go. Either way, I'm looking forward to posting the final verdict on December 1. It should be an exciting race to the finish line!

NaNoWriMo: Crossing the Halfway Point

So here I am, more than halfway through the month and -- miracle of miracles -- also more than halfway to 50,000 words. There is a chance I might just do this. I've told my friends and family about it, I've even put celebrating the end right up there with celebrating my birthday (actually, it's the same party).

Week Two was hard. I mean it, it was a serious challenge. Just shy of 20,000 words I hit a point where I realized my characters were just rough conglomerations of different traits. They needed to become real, live people in the story. I needed to learn more about them. So I forced myself to keep writing, 1,000 words at a time, to figure out what made these folks tick.

I think I'm getting it. Crossing the 25K mark was a huge milestone not just in terms of being more than halfway there, but in terms of being able to sit down and write and see 1,000 words go down on the page with hardly any trouble at all.

I also took a little vacation from my story: saw friends, played games, etc. On Saturday I realized I'd sort of abandoned my real life. Not good. So we'll see how living in two worlds works out for me. On Monday when I was getting ready for work I actually noticed dark circles under my eyes, a clear sign of age or sleeplessness or both. Consistently skimping on sleep just isn't as easy as it used to be. I can remember staying up until all hours working on school projects or spending time with friends. Now that tired feeling during the day just doesn't seem worth it. Either that or I end up falling asleep on the floor at 11:00 on a Friday night. Not my proudest moment, but it's all leading up to one of my proudest moments for sure: crossing the NaNoWriMo finish line.

While I may not be able to stay awake past 11:00 on a Friday night, I do possess a certain "failure is not an option," do-or-die streak that keeps me going on projects like this. Sleepiness or no, server upgrades and fundraising season at the office or no, this novel's going to get written. It'll get written in the car on the way to/from Thanksgiving in PA (yes, I have a power inverter to plug into the cigarette lighter). It'll get it written at 8:00 on a Saturday morning after I've only just been roused from my friends' floor at 2:00 a.m.

It'll get written in the time before work that I used to reserve for showering and making my hair look presentable (i.e. not slept on). Don't ask about that one. Really.

At any rate, I'm still plugging away at this thing and I'm still on track to succeed, if only just barely. So here's to the rest of November!

NaNoWriMo at one week

It hasn't always been easy, but I've managed to stay in the game thus far. I am proud to say I wrapped up NaNoWriMo week 1 with 14,110 words (more than my goal of 13,000 by the end of the weekend).

So, a little recap:

Before it all began, I felt good. I sat down with a close friend and talked over the practical points of my plot with him. I watched Across the Universe. I dug into the first day with all the "fun" parts. I figured out immediately that writing a plot about a character usually means writing it out of order, gradually fitting the pieces together. I took the Myers-Briggs test for my main character and wrote about her flaws.

During the first few days I feel behind on my word count. Perfectionism and overthinking slowed me down until Wednesday or Thursday, when I broke into a place where I could write freely, like I do for my daily writing practice. During this time I also wondered how to keep up my daily practice while writing my novel. I feel like the novel suffers when it becomes everything I'm thinking and writing about. After all, the little observations make it real. The funny experience I had in a cab last week makes it real.

I've promised myself I'll start a new zine project when my current notebook is full down to the last page, and this has kept me going with my daily writing. This weekend I discovered a new NaNo incentive in this: at the end of 30 days, I will really have something. I'll have the bare bones of a real live novel, something I can sink my editing teeth into. And that's when the real writing starts. I love editing far more than writing from scratch much of the time, love watching my mind work through problems and produce a final draft I never could have imagined from the outset.

Thinking about that -- the final product and what it means for me -- provides a light at the end of the tunnel. Writing 1700 words of fiction per day has gotten easier. Hell, I wrote over 7000 words this weekend. But sustaining that pace will require more than nimble wrists and kernels of plot ideas. It's going to take some big-time perseverance. But I've told my family and friends I will do this, can do this, and I've promised myself a draft of a novel by the end of the month. So I'm really just going to do it.

Here's to literary abandon! I'll try to keep up at least weekly updates here, and I'm currently chatting about my progress on Twitter (check the mini-blog in the sidebar).

Today =

1. Moroccan lentil-bean stew with rosemary, fennel, turmeric, cumin, & etc.
2. Plentiful leaf raking and novel writing, but also a balance of book reading and WoW playing.
3. A somewhat confounding (but bountiful) harvest of green tomatoes...what do we do with these?
4. Scalding hot shower at the end of the day.
5. 10,000 words!
6. French press coffee in my writing room with morning sunlight streaming in the windows.
7. Upgrading (finally) to Ubuntu 9.10 and loving the freebie desktop backgrounds.
8. Balancing productivity with relaxation.