A few years ago, I knew someone who was Chinese and played the violin. She was really passionate about music – playing, sharing with others, everything – and I knew this because it was so clear in her eyes every time I saw her. When someone close to her died, she stopped playing for a little while. This she explained, was because her culture dictates that one shouldn’t engage in anything cathartic during a period of grieving.
I remembered this at an odd time, just sitting on the bus on the way to work today. It gave me pause because throughout my life, I’ve used music as a cathartic vehicle that way: an escape from grief and struggle. I always thought it was a good thing, a way to stay grounded, and I think it’s fascinating to consider a cultural viewpoint completely opposite.
I remembered this at an odd time, just sitting on the bus on the way to work today. It gave me pause because throughout my life, I’ve used music as a cathartic vehicle that way: an escape from grief and struggle. I always thought it was a good thing, a way to stay grounded, and I think it’s fascinating to consider a cultural viewpoint completely opposite.
If anyone else out there has used art – be it performance, visual, craft, or anything else – as a sort of cathartic outlet during a difficult time, I’d like to know your thoughts on this. Does it allow us to escape, experience a lesser magnitude of grief? Is this a bad thing? Cultural traditions surrounding grief and loss are really interesting to me – for example, the Jewish tradition of covering all the mirrors in a house where someone has died so mourners needn’t be self-conscious about showing their feelings. Again, this seems to encourage a sentiment of embracing emotion, letting it carry you for a time, and letting it go.
For me, I’ve often said music is the one thing that carried me safely through some really rough (read: angsty) patches in my life. I don’t want to think about how I would have felt without it. I don’t view that as escapism, I view it as self-medication in the best way, like exercising to increase your endorphins. I view it as taking care of myself. But I can also see how someone might argue it’s an act of running away from the full impact of my emotions.
Thoughts?
One of the major reasons that I enjoy acting is because I don't have to deal with my own life stresses or personal idiosyncrasies. When I was experiencing financial troubles, the BEST part of my day was when I could be in a musical about a person who didn't have to worry about money. So I think I'm taking your side, that one of the best ways to deal with struggles and heartaches in life is to do something that you love doing. On the other hand, I think it's an incredibly respectful gesture to stop doing something you love for a short time, in the memory of someone you love. It does make me wonder though, how do you grieve in that context, on your own terms?
ReplyDeleteYou know, that makes me remember a sad story about a musical my high school did. In the weeks leading up to the show's opening a close friend of many of the cast members was killed in a car crash. Rehearsals went on even though they were all shell-shocked and grieving, but they were all there -- together.
ReplyDeleteEven when personal tragedies and struggles happen during Hell Week, I think continuing to dedicate yourself to something grounding (and maybe even cathartic) can be vital.
And maybe continuing your craft *is* a way of grieving. What if the only way you know how to grieve is to express it through some kind of artistic outlet? A song? A performance? I'm not sure you can ask yourself (or anyone) to grieve in a way that's *not* on your own terms.
There's some kind of lore I remember about a death right before opening night of a musical and the actors actually altered the performance significantly, making it a stark memorial to the person who had died. Do you know what that was? I think it's a pretty well-known show, I just can't remember the details well enough.