Yesterday I heard some words that hurt a little bit. No, no one was picking on me. I'm talking about those people in my life who I can depend on to give the honest (and sometimes obvious) advice I'm not quite ready to hear.
So the truth? If I really, really wanted to be actively productive right now, I probably would be. I'd be stubbornly perfecting the left-hand part on some new songs. I'd be typing one-handed, wearing out my wrist on my manuscript every day. Instead, I've been reading and watching movies and eating animal crackers.
As an ADD person, this can be a big sensitive spot when said the wrong way. After all, we hear a lot of hurtful (read: ignorant) words labeling us lazy, unmotivated, inconsiderate, unconcerned.
The truth is, that has nothing to do with it. This is just where I am right now. Maybe I just need to, well, recuperate. Despite having only one arm, there's not a whole lot I can't do...just some things I shouldn't. Examples include: hunching over a piano or computer, going on too many long car rides, and dancing around and acting silly.
Since these things aren't impossible, it's easy to overdo it. Really, I should be sitting still and watching movies. Even more, it's okay to let myself want that. Maybe I feel like that's a wrong thing and I want my old self back, but this takes time. I've never had a bounce-back period this long before. More than likely, I need to stop moping, stop sneaking in two-handed typing, and just accept the fact that I want to take some time off. Because that's the natural -- and most healthy -- way to recover from surgery.
And hey, at least I'll be able to say I watched five seasons of Weeds and all the 2010 Oscar winners when it's all said and done.
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