Showing posts with label friends. Show all posts
Showing posts with label friends. Show all posts

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Life and Work: Matt Agnello

It's kind of hard to believe two weeks have gone by already, but here we are again! This dose of life and work comes from friend and fellow artist Matt Agnello.

I can still remember visiting Matt in Boston when we were in collegeI spent some time on the floor of his apartment putting together a handmade book of photography, and we accompanied him out on a nighttime shoot for the opening sequence to a Boston University TV show.

Speaking of college, I ask about education in these interviews for a reason: we fine arts folks end up in some interesting places. This really caught my eye in today's interview:
I think more often than not your education is tangential to what you end up doing. For me, that’s certainly true. But the basic concepts I learned about in my film classes can be applied anywhere. You learn about dramatic systems, how people react to stimuli, meaning that’s created visually instead of through prose. All of those translate to any creative or dramatic medium. It’s like learning a programming language. Once you know one, you know them all. You just need to learn a new dialect the next time around.
As you know, I don't use my degree directly at my day job, but I sure do feel like it gave me the skills I need to survive. But that's for another day. Coming up soon: contentious life decisions, turning over new leaves, and rediscovering self-awareness. But for now, enjoy a peek into another creative life! (Click the link below the video to continue reading).


As an aside, you should really check out some of Matt's work on Vimeo. It's three years old, but I've always been partial to this delightful little short film:


The Cranemaker from Matt Agnello on Vimeo.


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Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Bouncing Back

Yesterday I heard some words that hurt a little bit.  No, no one was picking on me.  I'm talking about those people in my life who I can depend on to give the honest (and sometimes obvious) advice I'm not quite ready to hear.

So the truth? If I really, really wanted to be actively productive right now, I probably would be. I'd be stubbornly perfecting the left-hand part on some new songs.  I'd be typing one-handed, wearing out my wrist on my manuscript every day.  Instead, I've been reading and watching movies and eating animal crackers.

As an ADD person, this can be a big sensitive spot when said the wrong way.  After all, we hear a lot of hurtful (read: ignorant) words labeling us lazy, unmotivated, inconsiderate, unconcerned.
        
The truth is, that has nothing to do with it.  This is just where I am right now.  Maybe I just need to, well, recuperate.  Despite having only one arm, there's not a whole lot I can't do...just some things I shouldn't.  Examples include: hunching over a piano or computer, going on too many long car rides, and dancing around and acting silly.  

Since these things aren't impossible, it's easy to overdo it.  Really, I should be sitting still and watching movies.  Even more, it's okay to let myself want that.  Maybe I feel like that's a wrong thing and I want my old self back, but this takes time.  I've never had a bounce-back period this long before.  More than likely, I need to stop moping, stop sneaking in two-handed typing, and just accept the fact that I want to take some time off.  Because that's the natural -- and most healthy -- way to recover from surgery.



And hey, at least I'll be able to say I watched five seasons of Weeds and all the 2010 Oscar winners when it's all said and done.

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Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Inspiration #16: Synchronicity

I've taken quite a few personality surveys that ask if I enjoy having a wide circle of acquaintances to hit the town with vs. few close friends I can really open up to.  It's true, I'm a very particular person when it comes to friends. My best friends are few but very near to my heart.  One of the great things about them, though, is how sometimes I really feel like we're thinking the same thoughts.  We fill up inboxes, mailboxes, and chat logs.  I've been called anti-social and overly introverted, but that's far from the truth.  These people are one of the pillars that make my life a special place, and I'm always looking for that synchronicity that shows me the connection goes both ways.

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Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Inspiration #10: Team Sports

I know I just wrote "team sports," but don't run away!  I was sitting at the dinner table tonight looking at my guitar in the corner when I thought -- again -- about how unfortunate it is that I don't play more.  The thing is, playing guitar is sort of like snowboarding.  You can do tons of cool stuff, it's awesome fun, and everyone likes to watch you do it well, but behind the scenes you've got to log a lot of time falling down and not doing so great.


What makes it all worth it to me, though, is being on a team.  During my life I've run three miles every day to be the best I could be on a sports team, endured intense pain playing my violin through a shoulder injury in musicals and operas and orchestra concerts, logged hundreds of hours in World of Warcraft because I like the role I can play in a group with my friends.  


People sometimes call me anti-social, but the truth is when I push myself to excel at something, it's usually because I value my role in a team.  When our high school put on a fantastic performance of Fiddler on the Roof, I needed to feel like a small part of that was because of me.  When we're in a crunch time at the office, I need to feel like my contributions are the best they can be.  I can't see someone on my team struggling with a project without asking how I can help, staying a little late, and maybe stepping a little bit outside my job description.  


Likewise, when I decided to do National Novel Writing Month in November, I made sure I told my friends all about what I was doing.  Their support kept me motivated (no one likes to bring home bad news), and when I had succeeded at this tremendous individual challenge I took the next plunge: I asked for some heavy review/editing from trusted friends who are smart, know what good writing looks like, and most importantly are able to be 100% honest with me about my manuscript.  Now that I feel like more people than just me are invested in this project and its success, failure or giving up is just not an option.  I'll work as hard as I need to to make sure I finish with something truly great.


Now I want to figure out how to bring that spirit back into music and performance.  Opportunities to perform in groups come easy in high school and college, but in the years since graduation I haven't found an engaging group of people I can be close to and make music with.  That personal connection over hours of doing something you love and refining a technical skill is really important to me, and somehow I don't feel like I'm willing to let it get away.  Some of my best friends and best loves have been forged over music. In fact, one of the first ways my husband and I bonded as friends at age 19 was over a piano in the practice rooms at Lehigh University.


The thing is, it's not like I don't have talented friends -- I do.  It's just a matter of figuring out how to bring it all together.  But that's another inspiration entirely, so maybe I'll think more about it tomorrow.

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Monday, February 8, 2010

Inspiration #8: Communication

We've been snowed in since Friday night.  Slowly but surely, this has pushed me to clear out the backlog of emails and notes I've been wanting to send to my friends.  After you hit a certain threshold of playing video games in your pajamas it just has to happen.

Part of this is 100% social, but I've also been thinking more and more about how I might use my friends to research my novel.  Quite a few of my characters have had life experiences that I find very impactful and have seen tangentially, but I haven't actually been through it myself.  Right now these characters are basically likable, but underdeveloped because there are aspects of their lives I need to learn about and understand in greater detail.

So when I'm not pushing for that level 70 milestone in World of Warcraft (really have to reign that habit in), I'm going to be catching up with friends who are far away and -- hopefully! -- learning a bit about my fictional characters as well.

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Sunday, February 7, 2010

Inspiration #7: Handwriting

Because I love handwriting!  This will be a short post, just to say that as I read through my manuscript (this is a running theme because I've been stuck in the house for days with it) I can't get over how much I love receiving handwritten notes.  From middle school through college, my best friend and I often exchanged lengthy notes and letters in addition to margin notes on each others' writing.  Now that I've gotten that again, it brings me no small measure of joy to decode all those little scribbles.  Somehow it just feels so much better than the much drier, more professional comment feature in Microsoft Word.

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Friday, February 5, 2010

Inspiration #5: Friends

Tonight in Baltimore we're eagerly glancing out the window and wondering how much snow will be on the ground by morning.  Forecasts are calling for a legitimate blizzard, so all signs point to a weekend spent solidly indoors and away from the roads and sidewalks.


Today I was lucky enough to get the first 60 pages of my manuscript back with comments from a friend -- the best way to prepare for some dedicated time inside.  While this kind of peer review can be scary, it is in many ways what I've been trained to do.  Critique -- including critique of work in progress -- is part of being an artist, part of having a fine arts degree.


Skimming over my pages was without a doubt the most inspiring part of my day because the comments in the margins were exactly what I was looking for: the kind of feedback you can only get from someone who is comfortable enough to be 100% honest with you and also willing to think critically about what they're reading.  Creative people don't share works in progress with each other to hear things like "oh, it's really good, you're a really great writer/painter/photographer."  They do it to hear things  like "I don't think this character would have done this" or "your proportions are off -- see how that shoulder doesn't look like it fits with the rest of the body?"


I feel privileged to share my life with people who will provide me the kind of feedback I also love to give: feedback that you have to be ready to take constructively, feedback that makes you realize you're still a long way from the finish line but you have something excellent to work with.  Sure, there's plenty that can be hard to hear, especially when you've already invested a lot of time and energy in a project.  But it's exciting and difficult and ultimately what helps you become better at what you do.  I guess it goes back to that old cliche I hate so much: "you can't create art in a vacuum."

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Monday, February 1, 2010

NaNoWriMo Revisited: Clip #2

It's time for another excerpt from my NaNoWriMo novel!  I've had to be a little strategic so I'm creating interest rather than giving key plot points away, which is a challenge I didn't anticipate.  Anyway, this is actually only half of the excerpt, so I'll be posting Part Two soon.  Enjoy!  And thank you Oli for picking it out!


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Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Breaks.

Lately I've been wondering about my creative process, wondering if breaks are a necessary gear keeping the process spinning or whether breaks are just that, a break in character.  A skip, a foible.  Between Christmas and New Year's I took an honest and true break.  Though I carried my notebook to Pennsylvania for Christmas, its pages remained largely undisturbed for the length of the trip.

But now I'm typing this with my laptop on the kitchen counter, reheating the last of the Christmas leftovers, and really telling myself -- it's over.  Break's over.

While I was home from work (lucky us, our office closes between Christmas and New Year's) I stayed up late, mostly slept late, drank champagne and played board games, spent whole days in my pajamas watching movies and playing World of Warcraft.  Occasionally I'd feel a twinge and think, "I should be working on my novel," but then I'd realize I'd let writerfriends take it away, force this break.

By Sunday, though, the last Sunday before returning to the office, I was finished.  Even on Saturday I had an inclination to start planning a zine, got out a sketchpad and some old stuff and laid in my writing room, back on the floor and eyes glued to the ceiling fan.  So much of the creative process can be laying on the floor surrounded by papers and books.

But on Sunday I was full-on done with breaks.  I twisted an incense burner out of tin foil and struck out to the basement to sort through some of the boxes down there, thinking I might find inspiration in purging, sorting, making plans for the space after I empty it of clutter.  I watched Angels in America and relished the way it put my soul through a wringer, lost myself in it as an artist and a human.  I started writing again in earnest, returned to my daily practice.  I had a significant personal revelation.

My question is, did my break pave the way for all this?  Did it prepare me to work again on my novel after I receive it back full of red pen?  Did it leave my heart open for new ideas, new inspiration, did it give me new eyes? Or was it just a delay, a hiccup, a missed opportunity to immerse myself in a project?

We have such a need to create, but I'm feeling oddly guiltless about taking some time away from "real" things, "productive" things.  Accomplishments.  I'm feeling like the past week left me open to realize even after taking so much time out for myself, I still voluntarily return to my words.  I miss them, need them.  I can take a break from them, go on vacation, and know full well I'll be more than happy to come back.

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Thursday, December 17, 2009

Art in a Vacuum

A few years ago, when I was completing my final semester of college, I got the opportunity to visit the Fore River Shipyard in Quincy, Massachusetts.  This was not only the site of the world's largest crane (since dismantled), it was also where part of The Departed was filmed and probably one of the most exciting places I've ever been.  Even though we weren't allowed, a few of us snuck off to explore and take pictures over our lunch break.  The photos from that day -- though taken quickly with a point and shoot digital camera and without a thought to framing, composition, subject matter, or general good technique -- later became part of one of my favorite creative projects.

After returning from my trip, I took those pictures to my photography professor and lamented the fact that I hadn't gotten a chance to do any "real" photography there, hadn't had time or equipment to produce "real art."  She told me I had a lot of absolute gems on that roll and I should keep going, find more locations to photograph, apply for a grant to make gigantic prints of my shipyard photos.

In the end I got the grant, took more photos, and produced a handmade artist's book to display my work.  I may be more proud of that final product than anything else I did that year.

I've often said I miss existing in a community of artists.  In college, creative people tend to flock together.  I remember fine arts, graphic design, music, theatre majors all having their own exclusive cliques.  Outside their academic work, their style of dress and social activities and parties set them apart from everyone else.  They lived and breathed their craft.

Many of us don't retain that after college.  I feel like those of us with BFAs are especially prone to end up in interesting places that don't quite line up with what's on our diploma.  We didn't go to school to be actuaries or rocket scientists or high school French teachers.  Our university's career center didn't know quite what to do with us, so if we didn't move to New York City or apply for teaching positions or start an MFA program, we made our own path in life.

I'm actually pleased with my day job, where I do a lot of writing and solve challenging problems and keep some pretty great company.  But I am definitely out of that creative element much of the time.  People are actually impressed to learn I have several six foot tall paintings in my basement that I painted myself.  They told me I was crazy to try to write 50,000 words toward a novel in one month.  At one time, either of these things might have been considered commonplace and even expected by my peers.

So as I work on editing and rewriting this novel, I have to remember what my painting professor said so many times it became cliche: you don't create art in a vacuum.  Without that creative community, I never would have pursued my Reclamation project.  I would have taken some neat pictures at an abandoned shipyard and left it at that, and people would have been impressed.  But I had a mentor who saw potential in the project and challenged me to keep going with it, flesh it out into a mature project.

My next step is to take advantage of the little creative community I have within my friends and lay out the fast, sketchy work I've done so far.  Lot's of people might say I wrote my plot beginning to end, so I wrote a novel.  I didn't.  Not yet.  I took the first hasty roll of film.  Now I have to think about why I was attracted to those scenes, take some notes, and plan my next shoot.  And to do that, I need to bring it to someone who's never seen it before and say "hey, look what I did, do you think it will go anywhere?"  Because talking about our art is a key part of understanding it, processing it, finding deeper meaning and new directions with it.  And having people working alongside us and helping critique our work in progress is a luxury we shouldn't give up once we're past taking classes.

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Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Missing Writing Marathons

NaNoWriMo is getting both harder and easier: too much thinking, too little writing, too much doubt, but then realizing I only have 12,400 words left as I write this. Compared to how far I've come, that's really nothing. Plus, tonight's 2,000 words came easily, which is always encouraging.

The thing is, a person can't accomplish something like this alone. As someone who once believed (and still sometimes believes) all my strength and potential came from within, I feel like this is a valuable lesson. Not only have I learned I can actually do anything I put my mind to (although I secretly knew that already), I've learned I need conversation, inspiration, encouragement.

Not all encouraging words are the same with seven days left in the challenge, either. The time has passed for "we'll be proud of you no matter what." At this point I need someone to kick my ass a little bit, tell me "hey, you set a goal and you are totally capable of achieving it. You've come too far for me to watch you fall short now."

Or, best of all, "let's sit down and write together." What I wouldn't give for a writing marathon with my best friend before this is all over. Throwing words down on the page recklessly. Reading aloud every 15 minutes and impressing each other, ourselves. I feel like that's the relationship I need right now. I miss the communal creativity, discovering pieces of each other, spouting off topics and running with them, looking back satisfied at how many pages we'd filled. It's been years since I did something like this, either because I wasn't writing enough or because I didn't have anyone nearby to write with.

So this month I learned (again) how important it is to reach out in times of creative need. I need to reach out now, somehow, if only just a little bit during this holiday weekend. I need to maintain my creative momentum, and that's not always something we can do alone.

We'll see how these last few days go. Either way, I'm looking forward to posting the final verdict on December 1. It should be an exciting race to the finish line!

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