May Rundown

June is here, May is over, and it's time to take a look over my goals for 2010 and see what I've been up to.  Struggling with ADD often means I lose track of the contents of my days pretty easily, so pausing every once in a while to reflect really helps me figure out what I'm doing with all this passing time.  While everyone at the office complains about doing their monthly reports during the first week of the month, I'm thankful for the benchmark/barometer.

May had 31 days to it this year, and I only sat down and did my daily writing practice for 21 of them.  That's barely even most of the time, so I need some work there.  On the bright side, I wrote a lot on some of those days, in addition to doing some good work on my manuscript.  I just need to make sure I'm carving out time every single day and not letting "extenuating" circumstances become an every-other-day occurrence.



In the latter half of May I finally got myself down to Single Carrot Theatre, which is certainly something I'd like to continue doing.  In college I had a friend who'd take me to plays, and I guess part of me thought I'd always have a person like that in my life.  This month I learned that maybe I need to be that person for others!

A plug for Baltimore folks: Single Carrot is in a great spot (Station North: lots of new art spaces, plus easily accessible and free of the parking and/or transit complications of Mt. Vernon or downtown) and provides an intimate theatre experience not to be missed.  The show I just saw was the sort I can measure by how long I spent cocking my head to one side—it's a slightly embarrassing habit when I'm really studying a piece of creative work.  Plus you get a complimentary glass of wine or soda and a cheerful greeting when you walk in the door!

Directly after our theater excursion, my husband left me all alone for a weekend, and I took advantage of the opportunity to spend the morning writing at Carma's Cafe in Charles Village.  Baltimore plug number two: Carma's is another absolutely can't miss.  Sitting for two hours and focusing solidly on my work was a challenge, but that's why I made it a goal in 2010!  That work session got me over a big editing hump, and I think this weekend I'll try dropping by the Evergreen, where all the trendy writers seem to hang out on their laptops.

In terms of big projects, I rededicated myself to editing my manuscript and got some really nice work done on it.  I also started decluttering the house and making way for my new work space by spending an entire weekend in the basement sorting through stuff (and deciding to give most of it away to the Salvation Army).  Big life news arrived on the scene, too, as I enrolled in an online MBA program concentrating in non-profit management.

While I'm not ready to move/create my office quite yet—our quick-and-cheap basement remodel needs to happen first—I did buy a real desk chair.  My back is thanking me at this very moment, and typing away at my desk feels so much nicer!

All in all, I feel good about May, if not the first half of June.  I've gone through a lot of rededication to my creative practice, and it feels good to be getting my life back again after my surgery disrupted the rhythm of things so much.

Just What You Ordered: A Disjointed Post About My Weekend!

This weekend I...

Went outside at 8:30 on Saturday morning, weeded the front bed, and enjoyed my coffee on the porch steps while surveying the neighborhood and taking in the little details that make everyday life so beautiful:





I also started singing a new song and actually bothered to record a little snippet of it in Evernote so I'd remember it later.  With my 2010 goals in mind, I'd like to try my hand at working it into a finished product at some point.

Earlier this evening I sat down to my daily writing and got through about three quarters of a page in my notebook before my writing muscles started burning with exhaustion.  All in all, not too bad given my right arm is just barely regaining usefulness.  I'm hoping for a tiny bit more every day, but I'm not going to push the fatigue too hard lest I evoke a return of the sore and sleepless nights.

Not part of the feature presentation here but getting an honorable mention for the weekend are: succumbing to the nesting instinct and planning home improvement projects with tape measure in hand, leveling both my main WoW characters, and overcoming my fear of telephones to discuss possible writing projects.  Whew!

Last but not least, you may have noticed I somehow -- don't ask me how, really -- managed to get a camera up to my face even though I'm unable to lift the top half of my right arm off of my body.  Oh, and I'm still wearing a sling.  Ssshhh!

The Kinetic Sculpture Race in Patterson Park was really too much not to photograph, even though I'm not really an event photographer.  I took around 150 photos (I think), a small sampling of which I uploaded to a little photo essay on Flickr.  Here are a few of my favorites:

Picturing My Way Out the Other Side: 2

Pleasure seeking.

Picturing My Way Out the Other Side: 1

You'd think life would be returning to normal two weeks after my surgery, but not quite.  Not being able to write has been disorienting, I'm surrounded -- or not, it's turning into a ghost town -- by illness at the office, my husband has been pushing to meet deadlines at work, and the house is in a bit of a state due to my reduced capacity for general upkeep.  On top of that, I've almost certainly been infected with mono, so I'm sort of waiting around to see if I actually get sick.

A couple years ago when I felt a little lost, I started documenting the places life took me on foot.  I collected little grainy pictures in my plastic camera, snippets of sights seen in Baltimore.

This time I'm just using my phone.  I'm going to take a picture of each day until life irons out again.  Look, I even made this one look like it came from my 110 camera!

(Oh, and welcome back to daily posting!)

Inspiration #21: Photo Walks

It's been a long time since I went on a walk with my camera, but today I decided the weather was just too nice not to.  My sister and I went for a stroll up through Roland Park and even saw some budding trees!

Inspiration #5: Friends

Tonight in Baltimore we're eagerly glancing out the window and wondering how much snow will be on the ground by morning.  Forecasts are calling for a legitimate blizzard, so all signs point to a weekend spent solidly indoors and away from the roads and sidewalks.


Today I was lucky enough to get the first 60 pages of my manuscript back with comments from a friend -- the best way to prepare for some dedicated time inside.  While this kind of peer review can be scary, it is in many ways what I've been trained to do.  Critique -- including critique of work in progress -- is part of being an artist, part of having a fine arts degree.


Skimming over my pages was without a doubt the most inspiring part of my day because the comments in the margins were exactly what I was looking for: the kind of feedback you can only get from someone who is comfortable enough to be 100% honest with you and also willing to think critically about what they're reading.  Creative people don't share works in progress with each other to hear things like "oh, it's really good, you're a really great writer/painter/photographer."  They do it to hear things  like "I don't think this character would have done this" or "your proportions are off -- see how that shoulder doesn't look like it fits with the rest of the body?"


I feel privileged to share my life with people who will provide me the kind of feedback I also love to give: feedback that you have to be ready to take constructively, feedback that makes you realize you're still a long way from the finish line but you have something excellent to work with.  Sure, there's plenty that can be hard to hear, especially when you've already invested a lot of time and energy in a project.  But it's exciting and difficult and ultimately what helps you become better at what you do.  I guess it goes back to that old cliche I hate so much: "you can't create art in a vacuum."

Inspiration #2: Kiss Me It's Beginning to Snow

Today felt frustrating at a number of points, and for the most part I was more than happy to hole up inside with some good friends after work and catch up on a few episodes of American Idol.  Maybe the day made me more cynical than I thought, because I refused to believe we were getting a real snowfall until I stepped out the door to catch my cab home.  Then I found myself in the middle of that beautiful snowfall silence that feels like it just stops the world.

Snow inspires me for several reasons.  One, that silence seems to give my heart room to feel and my mind room to think.  I love the winter, love the cold and the snow -- it's just so invigorating!  On another more practical note, there's a distinct possibility our office will experience a snow delay or even a closure tomorrow.  I'm already closing my eyes and imagining waking up and brewing a steaming mug of coffee, wandering around in my bathrobe and PJs, sitting down to a project, squinting at the light reflecting off the snow and shining in my windows.

And lest you think my white balance is off, nighttime snowfalls really do look like this under our streetlights.

What's next?

Now that my summer voice class is over, I feel a need to keep the creative momentum going, find a new challenge right away. What's next? always seems to be the most difficult hump for me to get over, since having a schedule and/or telling people about my creative work tends to keep me pretty accountable.

A few weeks ago I visited the Load of Fun space on North Avenue for work (lucky me!) and found it totally inspiring. Its graffiti alley out back, black box theater downstairs, and warehouse full of studio spaces crystallized a thought in my mind that we really can do anything with our lives. Photographers' studios made me jealous of all their equipment, giant paintings stirred a little urge to create on canvas again, improv theatre groups' spaces made me want to audition for a musical. There was just SO MUCH, it almost brought tears to my eyes.

Okay, I'm telling this story with a disclaimer that I get a little dramatic sometimes.

But really, experiencing many different art forms (or even just art spaces) keeps my blood flowing. I used to love standing on empty stages before or after rehearsals and just imagining all the performances I'd give in my life. Sometimes the reality -- that I'm not doing those things now -- makes me yearn for a time when I could picture myself as anything I wanted. Truthfully, though, I don't think the best parts of the creative world are out of our reach even if we do have day jobs, bills, and adult responsibilities. It's just a matter of answering the question firmly:

What's next?