Productive in All the Wrong Places

Yesterday I resolved to wrap a few things up at work, then head home so I had some extra time to pack for our Thanksgiving travels. While I cleaned up my desk at the office I occasionally stopped to add to my list of things to pack: manuscript, next week's class readings, notebook, camera...

Surely I didn't want to forget anything.

Then I realized, I always pack these things, but I come home disappointed with how little I've gotten done. Holiday travelling is far from a golden opportunity for productivity. It's a time when we do lots of driving, visiting, and more visiting. So this Thanksgiving, I'm packing my manuscript, but I'm just going to concentrate on enjoying the time off as much as I can.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Friday Surprises

What a busy Friday! I don't know about you, but my office provided no shortage of chaos this morning. Fortunately, everything settled down and when the mail came, I had a surprise! 16 exposures of monochrome film for Polaroid fun this weekend.

Hope you had some nice surprises today, too!

Rumors are true: whenever I use my phone to take pictures for the the
blog, I insist on stylizing them.

Life and Work: Elena Volkova

As promised in entries past, I'm launching a new feature on the blog: one that expands my narrative to include other artists who aren't supporting themselves with their art, who have struggled, who need to make choices every day about how to juggle life with creative work. There are a lot of artists out there producing fascinating work, and I'd like to carve out a space for unique conversation about how we do it.

Our journey starts, appropriately, in Baltimore. I stumbled across a writeup for one of Elena Volkova's photography installations and loved the humor and subversion inherent in her concept. Here we learn a little bit more about her creative life.

How do you describe yourself as an artist?
My goal as an artist is to create an experience. Using photography, I create site-specific installations that bring viewers "in the moment" and invite them to ponder the surrounding overlooked details in the environment. I follow the post-minimalist tradition in my practice, where the work is stripped down only to the essential elements; nothing extra. I am interested in the idea of creating art out of "nothing"—uneventful, familiar, mundane, everyday situations on the periphery of our lives.

What are you working on now?

I have two practices: photography and drawing. Drawing is my passion and my studio practice. I use photography to create site-specific installations. I’m currently working on a series of large format drawings of fortunes (from fortune cookies). For several years, I have been making various drawings of paper, where I'm exploring the same idea of "nothingness.” I asked my friends to send me most their most precious fortunes—the ones they consider particularly insightful—and make graphite drawings of them using a grid.

Tell us about your background/education. What made you choose to get a BFA/MFA, and was it an investment you had any trouble explaining to your family at first?

I have a BFA from MICA, where I studied photography. I fell in love with photography when I took a Basic Photo class at a local community college. After a few years working as an art teacher, I started looking at low-residency MFA programs and found an amazing professor that I really wanted to study under. Four years later, I got my MFA in Studio Arts, also from MICA.

What are your art-making rituals? What keeps you dedicated and in shape?

I have a tendency to produce a body of work when I have a show lined up. This keeps me in focus, and working constantly. Luckily, there is always something happening, and I am busy working. At the same time, I really value this "down" time when I’m not actively producing work because it allows me to think, to read, and to figure out where I'm going next. I try to keep up with my drawing practice, but it’s not at all regimented.  

Where do you get inspiration when things get tough?

A few years ago, I realized that it's tough to be a photographer who wants to produce large-scale work: it is very costly, galleries are reluctant to show it, there are problems with storage space, etc. I started making drawings because I needed a practice that would keep me working no matter what. I also think that drawing is a process-oriented medium, and photography (for me) is product-oriented. When things get tough, I come back to drawing. 

Tell us about your creative space.

I have a studio in the basement of my house, which I share with a filmmaker. We’re both interested in many other art practices, like ceramics and printmaking, so we have sort of a heaven of computers, art supplies, photo gear, pigments, ceramic glazes, clay, etc. It’s very cozy. We really love being in the space and working there. 

What's your most precious memento or piece of gear?

I used to work with this one medium format Yashica camera; it was so old that the lens had moisture trap and all images were coming out blurry with crazy light flares, and had dream-like quality. It was my favorite, but now I use only digital equipment.

What was the darkest time for your work? How’d you get out of it?

The darkest time for me is when I have too much going on. Every day, I have to juggle between parenting, my teaching jobs, housekeeping, and art making. I love all those things equally, but at times, things get overwhelming. The only way to get out of this is to wait until this period is over.  I usually do a lot of work in the summer, and I always know that some sort of break is coming soon. 

What are your current goals? Where do you see your work going in the future? You've done some traveling for your art and received a few awards and fellowships—do you see yourself eventually supporting yourself with your craft or do you want to keep teaching in Baltimore?

I don't see a possibility of being able to support myself and my family making art. The type of work I do rarely appeals to collectors, and I truly believe that art does not have to be a commodity. I found that many artists who depend solely on gallery representation have to compromise their practice to suit the art market; and I certainly don't want this to happen to me. Teaching is a great option for artists, not only because it is a noble profession, but also, because it offers some form of academic support and freedom. My ultimate goal is to teach college full time and continue to make art.

Elena currently has a show up at Hamiltonian Gallery in Washington, DC through December 4. If you're in the area, check it out!

Emulsion Lifts & Afternoon Doldrums

Sometimes, after the productivity, caffeination, and general good cheer of the morning wear off, a girl needs something to cheer her up in the afternoon.

I'll be the first to admit I'm a frequent sufferer of the 2:30 slump.

Today, I had a conversation about cameras with a friend who always brightens my day. I recently received a vintage Polaroid camera that might need some repair, but a little shopping on the Impossible Project website motivated me to give it a whirl.

I'd love to try some fancy and fun techniques like emulsion lifts, but first I want to see if I can get that camera working and produce some gorgeous pictures like these (from the Impossible Project website):

Facebook Fast at Mid-Month

Near the beginning of the month, I embarked on a Facebook Fast. I call it that because, similar to how you don't actually stop eating for a fast (just drink gross stuff like broth or wheatgrass), I haven't given up Facebook for the month. I can't. I get paid to do just the opposite.

But I don't get paid to use it at home, so I decided to find out how banishing it from my house would affect my life.

I don't spend hours on Facebook, but I do end up there whenever I get distracted or am not sure what to do next. For a person with ADD, this happens a lot. Without Facebook, two things have happened: first, when I don't know what to do next I'm forced to spend a few seconds considering how I want to spend my time. This has made me more intentional about what I do.

Secondly, when I want to share something, I can't just throw it up on my Facebook wall. I have to decide whether I want to share it on twitter, the blog, or in a personal email to a friend. I have replied to some long-overdue emails and, even more surprisingly, returned two phone calls (anyone who knows me knows I don't do telephone conversations). After all that, I wrote a letter.

Our society seems to be gravitating toward a default practice of universal sharing. I'll be the first to admit my Facebook page is important. I put a lot of effort into making sure it represents me in just the way I want. But at the end of the day, those personal emails to friends, those phone calls, those handwritten letters—those are the real substance of human connection. Facebook is like pop music: fun to indulge in and maybe even necessary, but not something to put at the foundation of our existence.

Sometimes, though, we need to remove extraneous factors to figure out what should be at the foundation of our existence.

A Video, and Something Unexpected

I may have an office job (albeit in an office that looks and often feels like someone's house), but every once in a while I give thanks for my background and formal education in the arts. It's easy to assume we wouldn't mix well with the business world, but I have a bias for the BFA-holding members of our staff. In many ways, I think that degree unlocks as many secrets to career success as one in business.

Last night, my job gave something back.

My education taught me how to take critique, when to defend, and never to assume a piece is "done" just because I can see the whole thing in front of my eyes. Yesterday morning I thought I had a finished product. Instead, my colleagues got into an argument in my office at 10:30 and ended up telling me to reshoot the first portion, take it home, work it in, and re-render the video. All before the tech run-through for our biggest event of the year at 5:00.

No sweat, right? We managed to get it in a few takes, and I had time to fit it in and do some last-minute editing in time to help everyone else get ready at 3:00.

After going through hell for that video, seeing it projected at the front of the room might have made me cry if it weren't for the guy at the mixing board asking me if I thought the audio sounded good. Suddenly I felt nervous, nervous in the way I used to get before a performance when we had just a few minutes to warm up before the doors opened. We'd cut off in the middle of a phrase and it would be time to get backstage and hope I'd nail the tough parts.

At the end of the evening it felt the same: applause, house lights going up, and a sea of mingling conversation. A few people—always the important ones—finding me in the crowd to tell me it was great.

I don't know if I have the right words for how much I miss that feeling, or how glad I was to realize this was another way I could have it again. Suffice it to say it's the only thing I've ever loved going through weeks of hell for.

But enough sentimental stuff. I know you really just read to the end so you could see the video.



If you'd rather watch in HD just like the computer gods intended, click here.

Where My Hours Have Gone...

This morning as I sat in a meeting I noticed something: my eye was twitching. Everyone's eyes get twitchy, but this kept up all day. In fact, today may be the twitchiest day my eyes have ever had.

Why? Well, I suspect it's because this is all I've been looking at lately. Fortunately, I just polished up what I think could be the final version of my video—a product of over 30 hours of work and 90 minutes of footage. I have to keep it under wraps until it shows at our big event for work tomorrow, but after that you can be sure it'll find its way onto the pages of this blog.

Wish me luck!

October in Review + November Goals

October came and went in a more hasty and stressful way than I would have liked, inspiring me to set some different goals for November. During October, I hoped to:

• Do some substantial writing/editing on at least 15 days and get my manuscript ready for my second round of beta readers by November 1. EPIC FAIL! I think I probably got down and worked for my goal time of 20+ minutes five days out of the month. Again, life got crazy promptly on the second day of the month, so I'm going to write this one off.
• Finish a short story, which I did and submitted to the City Paper's annual short fiction contest. Yay me!
• Read a script or see a play, both of which I did and loved. I saw Natural Selection at Single Carrot Theatre and read the screenplay for Cruel Intentions. Greatness all around.
• Clean out the basement. One might say I didn't even try...
• Get back to the piano, which I'm actually pretty sad about neglecting. Given my skill level, I feel like I feel like I need a piano companion who can help me out sometimes and keep me motivated.
• Take some footage I can be proud of for a work-related video. I think this is off to a good start and hopefully headed for a good end. I put together a solid draft and feel like I took my boss' critique like a pro...which I am, so this lands squarely in the success column.

Much like the annual performance review I just had at work, reflecting on my goals reminds me that even though not everything was a success, and indeed there were some epic fails, I can still claim some reasonable accomplishments.

In November, I'm going to put my usual word and day counting on hold in favor of some more lifestyle-oriented outlook. I chose not to do NaNoWriMo this month, but I want to focus hard on feeding my creative energy and achieving a state of constant awareness/mindfulness when it comes to art-making. In that light, here are my plans:

• The Facebook Fast. Sometimes I consider deleting my Facebook account, but then I remember two things: first, it's way convenient and I'm awful at keeping in touch. Second, I'm a social media professional. That said, I'm going to break the Facebook-at-home habit for a month and only use it at work. Ironic, right? Really, I'll just be maintaining our fan page and making sure to peek at my notifications.
• Get my novel ready for real. If this isn't done on December 1, I promise the universe I will just print it and give it to my second round of readers.
• Find that piano friend, sing, and play my piano.
• Do something, no matter how small, that engages my creativity every single day.
• Launch the new feature I've been planning for this blog!
• Write about these things all month.

And there you have it: pretty simple. Happy November!

Life is a Strategy Game, Too

Occasionally, I make reference to the fact that I play World of Warcraft. I generally use it as an example—something purely recreational, something I could cut out of my life in order to leave more time for art-making.

Not today though. Today I want to talk about my proclivity for gaming in the context of doing creative work. Don't worry, I'll keep it simple so you won't need to turn in your membership card to the Cool Kids Club at the end of this post.

For those not in the nerd universe, World of Warcraft is an online, multi-player game with more than 12 million subscribers as of this writing. Players create a character and enter into a virtual world where they can interact with various beings/creatures, complete a wide range of missions, join social groups with other players, and progress through a plot and leveling system sort of similar to Dungeons and Dragons.

The game has no end, really—to keep their loyal following addicted and paying their subscription fees, the game developers need to change the playing field from time to time.

Recently they introduced a new system for consuming your character's energy and converting it into abilities and attacks. Players now generate a secondary resource when their character performs certain actions, and consuming that secondary resource provides access to extra abilities.

I've been thinking a lot about this change to my game play, and I've concluded that it really jives with me. It encourages higher-level strategy and decision-making because you need to work out what ability is most appropriate for any given situation (lest you run out of resources before your task is complete), both in terms of short-term gains and long-term investment.

Sound familiar? We're all working with a very finite resource: time. Waking hours. Energy. We need to choose carefully what we do each day so we don't eat through all our time and conclude our evenings feeling exhausted but not having gotten what we needed out of life.

At the same time, we need to know what replenishes our stores in a more profound sense than just sleeping off a long day. We can't just pound away at our hardest, most productive work without a break. We'll burn out. I have to fight the urge to feel guilty every time I watch a movie or fire up a game on my computer. After all, shouldn't I be devoting every spare moment to my novel?

Despite my knee-jerk reaction, the answer is no. To spend creative energy, I have to generate it first. And sometimes unwinding and having a good time loosens my mind, lets me forget about the six stressful things happening at the office, and puts me in a frame of mind where I'm ready to sit down and work. It generates creative energy in the background so I have something to draw from later.

The more I play strategy games, the more I realize I never really stop playing. Life is all strategy, like the old adage says: don't work hard, work smart. We all start out with a unique set of resources, but it's how we invest them that makes all the difference in the world. And sometimes that investment means slipping replenishing activities into the rotation to make sure we have the creative energy to burn when it really matters.